Alone

With air this still there was no way that I couldn't be dreaming yet again but as I glanced around, the white hospital walls looked foggy and grim- nothing like the creepy crispness that came with my dreams.  Wiggling my toes, rough linen rubbed against the tops of my toes and warmed briefly before cooling again.  I winced as my back complained- validating my time in the alleyway.  Lifting up my hand, I realized the reason why I didn't feel hungry yet couldn't remember when I had last eaten.  The tape covered up the IV needle sticking into my hand but just seeing made me more cautious about any kind of movement that could dislodge it.

Finished with my self inspection, I turned my attention to the four walls around my bed.  Wait. Correction.  I was in a hospital cot that was surrounding only on four sides by pale cream hospital curtains- explaining why the "walls" I had seen upon awakening were so foggy looking.  At this point I had confirmed that I was indeed in the free clinic.  Judging by the fresh faces of the nurses bustling about, I concluded that the night crew must have gone home only an hour or so ago.  Having come in to help out once or twice when the days at the orphanage were slow, I knew that it was unusual for them to have overnight guests like me in the first place.  A distressed looking woman still wearing clothes stained with blood from a probably freshly treated wound passed into my field of vision.  She slowly made her way out of the clinic looking much too dazed and preoccupied to be completely healed.  As soon as the thought leaving the clinic to free up space for people like the woman, the throbbing of my back flared up into a pain so intense that I could do nothing but close my eyes and give in to the sandman again.

Rosie stood in front of me.  Much less talkative than she had been on the phone, she just stared at me.  So instead, I shifted my attention to the kid clutching her right hand.  He looked to be about 6 or 7 judging by how steadily his gaze held mine.  Although I had never seen this kid before, the deep blue of his eyes reminded me of my own reflection.  I got the feeling that we didn't just share the same shade of eyes though.  While Rosie still held his left hand firmly, his eyes told me that he was still alone.  On the outside, he looked fine.  I'm sure he smiled and laughed just like any other kid.  But from personal experience, I knew that the kid other people thought him to be couldn't be more opposite from the kid on the inside.  On the inside, there was doubt and confusion but most of all, there was loneliness.  Shaking myself out of the past, I looked back at Rosie.  By the determined set of her shoulders and the tightness in her eyes I knew that she lived for this boy.  I knew that even though she could barely feed herself, she made sure the kid never went hungry.  I knew she would do anything to stay by his side because otherwise, he would have nothing.

I also knew that Rosie was dead.

Weightless

I was floating.  Not suspended in midair or soaring amongst clouds but just weightless.  Rotating my head carefully, for fear of spoiling this feeling, I tried to orient myself.  I couldn’t seem to see anything underneath me nor above me.  It reminded me of the endless white rooms that people in commercials seem to find themselves in.  The most remarkable thing about my situation was that for the first time since I received that call, I felt content.  I could still feel the constant pull of the never-ending cycle of the orphanage- cooking, cleaning, spending time with the kids.  But somehow I knew that all those things didn’t really matter and I could easily push the urge to do something to the back of my mind.  That other thing, the thing that I always shied away from delving into, had mysteriously seemed to be gone too. 

So I floated. 

All of a sudden, a bundle dropped out of the space above me and landed lightly in my arms.  At first it was a welcome change in this white room but in the next second, I was dropping.  There was no ground to break my fall but I almost would have welcomed the impact of the ground compared to this constant feeling of falling.  My insides felt like they had been ripped out of me with the speed at which we, the bundle and I, whooshed downwards.  I was made up of the bare minimum.  Just enough to grasp the bundle like it was going to save me from falling apart completely. 

At this point, the falling sensation had become bearable to the point that I could ignore the fact that it was even happening.  Somewhat righting myself, I curiously examined the bundle.  Unable to discern anything from the cloth wrapping around it, I began to unwrap the folds of the baby blue blanket. While the length of unwrapped cloth grew longer and longer, the bundle shrunk not a centimeter.  Resigning to the mystery of the bundle, I heard the ring of a telephone.  Unable to find a cellphone or handset anywhere in sight, I could do nothing but wait for the ringing to stop. 

The ringing continued until I opened my eyes to the harsh fluorescent lights of a hospital room.  The ringing appeared to be closer to my right ear so I reached over with my right hand and brought the source of the noise to my face.  The screen glowed “Unknown calling”.  I flipped the phone open and answered:

“Hello?”

“Hi, I missed a call from this number earlier.  Who is this?

“This is Christophe Moreau. I’m sorry, who is this?”

silence.

“Chris?  This is Rosie.  You’re about five years late if you want to meet your son.”
But then the hospital began to warp and twist.  The cell phone dissolved in my hands and the ergonomic pillow under my head began to feel remarkably like a crushed up cardboard box.  The fluorescent lights dimmed and became the night sky that I had fallen asleep under- I passed out again before I could rearrange whatever piece of alleyway junk was creating the most uncomfortable cushion against the hard concrete.

Hungry

Pushing back the heavy iron manhole cover, I prepared my eyes for the blinding daylight.  As the glow behind my eyelids grew brighter and brighter, I felt the gentle caresses of fresh air on my clammy skin. Slowly opening my eyes, I realized that the source of light was not in fact the sun but a lone street light right above me.  Recognizing the faded awning of the entrance to Castle Apartments, I turned and saw the familiar cobbled steps leading up to the orphanage.  My stomach rumbled- reminding me of the last...how long was I down there?  By the absence of a single other person on the streets I knew that it had been hours since the sun had turned in for the night.  This meant that everyone in the orphanage would be asleep.  Hopefully one of the volunteers was staying overnight with the kids.  Rather that wake everyone up and heat up leftovers from dinner, I started walking to the Sushi place on Sobchak.  The owner helped out in the orphanage a lot and, since I had left my wallet on my bedside table, I would need to pay with an IOU.  
While it was plenty dark outside, my eyes were still sensitive to the light of the sparse streetlights.  Squinching my face to try and let only the minimal amount of light in, I breathed in the fresh air of the night.  The humming of the streetlights and occasional bump in the night were a relief to my ears after my time in the deafening silence of the underground. Passing Isabella’s cafe, I thought of the two girls I saw in the tunnel and wondered if I would see them there.  Having already lost all sense of direction by the time I had met them, I couldn’t even estimate what direction they were going if above ground.
Quickening my stride as I smelled the 24-hour coffee being brewed at Casa de Waffles, I turned onto Sobchak.  A loud clanging noise drew my attention as I turned to go into the sushi restaurant.  My thoughts about whether to eat sushi or kenyan suddenly turned to curiosity as I tried to locate the origin of the sudden noise. Ignoring my aching stomach for a split second, I jogged across the street.  Peering into the alley, I saw two figures.  Since my pupils were still dilated from trying to see in complete dark for the past several hours, I could make out a girl and someone in a hoodie.  It didn’t look good for the girl.  As soon as all of this dawned upon me as a bad situation, the hoodied person pushed the girl down and ran in my direction.  Slamming me to the side, all I could do was hope that the sun would rise soon and shed light on the man passed out in the alley- too weak from hunger to do anything else